This is a journal entry from a few months ago that I came across this morning as I was thinking of a friend who is hurting. I just had to write it....
Ever since I was a little girl I have reached out my hand to hold the hand of Jesus. I remember the first time like it was yesterday. I was lying in bed, scared or sad about something maybe overwhelmed by the punches life can throw at you, when faith spurred my heart to reach out my hand. I remember feeling the hand of Jesus, the gentle pressure as he squeezed my hand. 30 years later I still do this, but last night was different. As I reached out my hand and felt the familiar gentle squeeze, I couldn't withhold my most longed for request. "Jesus," I said. "when will you take me home, so I can actually hold your hand. When will my faith be made sight?" His voice was soft as it traveled through my ear...'I understand, but it won't make it more real just because you see it.'
He replayed for me the day before when I had lost my sight. I had a bad scratch in one of my eyes and every few minuets my eyes would uncontrollably close and water. I was making lunch for the girls when suddenly my eyes shut to water and there was no control to open them. I had a mango in my hand and continued to cut with no sight but only feel, faith and fitness. Minuets later I regained my sight and saw that I had cut the mango perfectly. {which is quiet difficult, you have to see the line of the seed in order to cut right along its edge}
Laying in bed reliving this picture, I was muling over the implication of the symbolism. You know, that the mango in my hand was not there because I could see it, but because I could feel it. The cuts that were made were not made out of scientific nerve connection from my eyes to my hands, they were made from faith. And the fact that once seen, the mango was cut perfectly, is the example that walking this earth by faith makes us fit to fulfill duties that even when unseen pan out beautifully.
I laid in bed and realized what He wanted me to understand. One day I will pass from the life of faith to the life of sight. This will be a big change, but what won't change is what/who and how He is. This will remain the same.
So I held His hand a little tighter.
